Don’t Wait!

Robin Williams died yesterday; all of the news programs, the newspapers, blogs, tweets and many Facebook ‘statuses’ are relating the tragic end of a comedic genius.  And the question is asked over and over “why didn’t someone see what was happening and stop it”?

Well the truth of the matter is that if a person truly wants to live or die, they will find a way to make that happen.  Mr. Williams found a way to die.

"You matter because you are you, and you matter to the end of your life.— Dame Cicely Saunders

It appears that Mr. Williams didn't feel that he mattered any longer…..oh how wrong he was!  He leaves behind a wife, children, friends, coworkers and some clergy who knew him well….or at least they thought so.  Could this tragedy have been stopped if one of those people stepped in and acted?  Possibly… but only if Mr. Williams wanted to live with and through the personal torments that the media is now reporting.

What to do then, when a friend, a coworker or a family member seems to be in the depths of depression?  Is it inevitable that they will end their life at their own hand; or can we intervene and get them the help that they need? 

Unfortunately, we humans have developed that “I don’t want to interfere” attitude, which actually is an “I don’t care enough” attitude.  If we cared enough, we wouldn't worry about making a scene or looking foolish or being accused of not minding our own business.  We would “get involved” and “get them some help”

Depression is a real thing!  I've experienced it and you've experienced it.  It comes upon us for many reasons. Sometimes it drives a person to consider ‘ending it all’, but generally we live on and often help is obtained and once again we discover, to quote Bishop Sheen, “life is worth living”.  And sometimes it only takes a friend, someone that will just listen, someone who truly cares and does not judge, but remembers “there but for the grace of God, go I”

I visited a friend today.  I should have visited sooner and more often, but I let the events of my life take priority over his failing health.  I even feel guilty calling myself his friend, as a true friend would not have let it go this far.  A true friend would have made the time.  My friend will not end his life at his own hand, but he does need a better friend in me.

It was sad to see my friend in the state that he was….losing his eyesight and speech, not able to move about freely.  I found myself hanging on his every difficultly pronounced word; not out of duty, but because I truly wanted to hear my friend and his thoughts.  You see, he is a genius too.  An engineer who was an expert in his field; a family man with a dedicated wife and daughter and many friends.  One thing he said today that has struck me tonight: “I wouldn't wish this disease on my worst enemy”.  He also told me how his wife was such a blessing from Heaven.  In his suffering he found time to put things in perspective.

 

Why these two men in my story?  Because Mr. Williams and my friend both needed truly dedicated friends.  Their families needed help from outside the family.  A kind word, a phone call, a warm hand or a smile will go a long way for someone who is suffering, regardless if it’s from mental or physical impairment.

   

Who do you know that is suffering from some difficulty?  Are you willing to pick up the phone and call them?  Are you willing to make sure they understand you are there for them?  Will you give them a kind word of encouragement, a warm hand, a listening ear?  Will you be a real friend before it is too late?